I am getting so excited to get started! I do admit, it is overwhelming at this point, but I am confident I am going to master this new Feingold lifestyle.
Program Materials
I got my materials in the mail on Saturday. I have been spending every second of down time I have either pouring over the handbook and the shopping guide or lurking on the Feingold Members Support Board.
I am taking the total immersion approach to learning this, because I feel like I do not have any more time to waste getting started.
Henry's behavior is more out of control by the day. He is five this month, he should have a better grasp on appropriate behavior.
I was buckling him into his carseat over the weekend, and he was fighting me as he always does. He said, "I am going to slap you!" and then he actually did! I think he was more surprised by it than I was. That's what I mean when I say he is out of control. He does these things that he knows are wrong, and then instantly regrets it. I have no doubt that he loves me, but he has no impulse control AT ALL. Telling him not to do something means he has to do it RIGHT THEN.
The shopping guide that comes with the Feingold Program materials is a daunting 296 pages. But, it is separated into Stage 1 and Stage 2 foods, so I have been able to make it through the stage 1 foods in about 2 (broken) hours.
What I am doing to make my shopping go a little faster and help cement the approved foods in my head is this: I started at the very front, and highlighted everything listed that I am already familiar with and have already purchased. Doing this has been somewhat of a relief in and of itself - there are a lot more products that are approved that I already buy than I imagined!
Grocery shopping, returning unapproved foods
I have been staring in my pantry for days, looking at all of the unapproved food and sighing. I regularly donate to food banks, but money is tight right now and this new lifestyle is going to cost more, no doubt. So, I called Wal-Mart this morning and spoke with the Customer Service manager. I explained that I recently discovered my child has a severe food allergy, and I have all of this food that I cannot use. They said I could bring it back and get store credit! No receipt necessary, just bring it back, easy peasy! They will check the dates, but nothing is close to expiring, so I am excited to have some store credit to get started.
Bread
One food that I have had a hard time locating a familiar name in the food guide is bread. Just regular ol' sandwich bread. I have a lot of friends that make their own bread, so I started reading about bread makers. It sounds really EASY! I always thought I wasn't domestic enough to make our own bread. But, I have discovered, with modern bread makers there is really not much to it! Put your ingredients in the bread machine, turn it on, and voila! - fresh, home baked bread made with no petrolum based preservatives or vanillin (paper mill waste product that is frequently used to flavor foods because it is cheaper than pure vanillia).
I am taking my change to Coinstar this week to cash in for an Amazon gift card so I can buy a shiny new bread maker (Breadman, $59). I already have $50 in Amazon gift cards that I earned in December, thank you Swagbucks, so I am not going to spend any money out of budget to get started. Of course, I have to buy a bread knife (why do I not already own a bread knife?) and a bread box to keep the bread in. The savings from baking all of our own bread are not going to be realized immediately, but I am confident that the bread machine and accessories will pay for themselves over time. Haven't you noticed how loaf bread is steadily creeping up in price?!
Meals, lunch inspiration
I am anticipating breakfast and dinner to be easy, because I all I have to do is sub a few approved ingredients for those - we already eat pretty well for those meals.
Sweet snacks are easy, too - Breyers and Haggan-Das both make several approved varieties of ice cream, and then there are Walker's shortbread cookies I (yum!) and most variety of Giradehilli chocolate (and we have an outlet close by great prices and coupons).
What I am most nervous about is lunch. Henry is not big on leftovers for lunch, but I think he is going to have to change his attitude on that.
I had a brilliant idea last night to encourage him to eat better at lunch time and to encourage me to feed him a more well balanced lunch. Years ago, maybe when I was still pregnant with Henry, I bought a Laptop Lunch Box in a co-op. It has been sitting in that hard to reach cabinet above the refrigerator ever since.
I bought it because it made sense - children are more likely to eat [healthy things that you want them to eat] if you make it fun for them. Colorful bento boxes (there are several other brands, I just happen to have this one) with small compartments for varied foods make eating fun!
I can probably always get him to eat some carrot sticks with [home made, made with approved ingredients] ranch dressing if it is in the fun Bento box.
Tomatoes are hard. You don't realize how often you use tomatoes until you have to avoid them as if your life depends on it. They are in everything! Tomato soup (duh). Home made vegetable beef soup. Almost all of the pasta dishes my family enjoys - spaghetti, lasagna. Swanson beef broth. Ketchup! The list goes on.
Ketchup will probably prove to be the hardest. I am a big utilizer of ketcup. Typically, if Henry doesn't like a meat that I have cooked giving him ketcup will get him to eat it.
I am going to do my best to replace ketcup with either ranch dressing or honey. It worked great for the grilled chicken I cooked last night - I gave him a small ramekin of honey to dip in and he thought he was having dessert! And he has never, ever eaten so much grilled chicken.
Okay, my window of quiet to write has passed, the children need attention and I am sure something needs cleaning.
Showing posts with label Introduction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Introduction. Show all posts
Monday, January 9, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Gearing up
I have so very many hopes and dreams and goals for the new year, and the rest of my life. I have always been a dreamer, but I lack greatly in the follow through. I am determined to change that.
I realized that I have so many scattered and major goals this year, that I really need to focus on one at a time, giving it 110%, and mastering it before taking on another.
I wrote down everything I want to accomplish, and prioritized them. Of my list of 4, the most important was, hands down, getting my 5 year old son, Henry, healthy and eliminating his severe symptoms of both ADHD and ODD.
Henry is a brilliant child. He is full of encyclopedic knowledge and he has a great sense of humor. But he is out of control, and he has been almost as long as I can remember.
When he was a young toddler, less than two, he would hit, bite, scream uncontrollably (always in public), spit in my face... you name it. It was an every day thing. At the time, I just chalked it up to his age and disposition, but as the years passed he has only grown more and more out of control.
The physical violence toward me has nearly stopped, but now at age 5 (he will be 5 this month) he tells me he hates me more than 20 times a day. He yells, screams, and throws tantrums that I do not think are normal for a child his age.
He told me yesterday that he wishes I would get a gun and shoot myself and die.
Now, before I get ahead of myself, let me say that I am your typical "AP" mom. (Not knocking anyone who isn't, just explaining what I do.) I breastfed him until he weaned at age 3. I wore him constantly, hoping to develop both a strong mother-child bond and a secure, confident kid. I am on board with the theory of gentle discipline (though no discipline works for him). I never let him CIO, I never put him in day care. I chose not to vaccinate at all for fear of the chemicals and byproducts destroying his immune system and neurological development.
I am not the world's greatest mother, but I try. I consciously parent. I try to limit tv and unhealthy foods. I read to him for an hour a day, or try to when he lets me (more on that later). I have, obviously, made mistakes as a parent, but when people see my child and the way he behaves I am sure they assume I am a detached parent that doesn't even try. This is not the case, no matter how it looks.
In addition to the terrible things he says to me, that he hates me and calling me stupid every other sentence, Henry has no impulse control. He is easily distractable. He loves for me to read to him, but over the past couple of months it has gotten to the point that I don't want to even try because he sings or hums loudly where it drowns out the words I am reading, he interrupts to tell me "that is stupid" or argue with me about the facts in the book.
Instead of ending our reading sessions feeling calm and good about our time together, he typically goes to his room to pout about being in trouble and I go outside to try and calm down and clear my head.
We have pretty much stopped leaving the house. Play groups are out, as are parks and play grounds, because Henry does not play well with others. 9 times out of 10 we leave 5 minutes into our visit because he has hurt another child. He isn't violent with me anymore, but his violence toward other kids is shocking. He pulls on their clothes, pushes and shoves and screams right into their faces. He gets angry because they won't do exactly what he tells them to.
So, we stay home, and drive each other crazy. I wait until my husband's day off to go grocery shopping and run errands because he is too big to ride in the cart and he runs laps around the store, running into other people and knocking over displays. I have tried bribing, threatening, yelling, leaving immediately, and nothing sticks with him. He does the exact same thing each time I try it.
I now have a 4 month old daughter as well, and having her has really kicked me into gear to make some radical changes to improve his behavior. I feel like I have to do something drastic now, or it will be too late.
I have spent the past month reading books, searching out other mothers of children with similar behavior issues and googling until my fingers are numb and I finally bit the bullet last night and ordered the Feingold Program. It was $87.50, and it was painful to spend that money, but I have high hopes that it will work for us. I paid the extra $5 for priority shipping, and I am going to be on pins and needles until it arrives.
I am going to give this my all, and follow it to the letter, even though that means no more break. Henry goes and spends a weekend with my parents every so often, so I can get a break and catch up on housework, errands, etc. But, my father made it clear to me over the holiday that he was not on board with any dietary changes I wanted to make and he would not adhere to the program when Henry is there. So, Henry isn't going to be going back for a long time.
My next step, and last resort, is medication, and I really, really do not want to medicate him.
I realized that I have so many scattered and major goals this year, that I really need to focus on one at a time, giving it 110%, and mastering it before taking on another.
I wrote down everything I want to accomplish, and prioritized them. Of my list of 4, the most important was, hands down, getting my 5 year old son, Henry, healthy and eliminating his severe symptoms of both ADHD and ODD.
Henry is a brilliant child. He is full of encyclopedic knowledge and he has a great sense of humor. But he is out of control, and he has been almost as long as I can remember.
When he was a young toddler, less than two, he would hit, bite, scream uncontrollably (always in public), spit in my face... you name it. It was an every day thing. At the time, I just chalked it up to his age and disposition, but as the years passed he has only grown more and more out of control.
The physical violence toward me has nearly stopped, but now at age 5 (he will be 5 this month) he tells me he hates me more than 20 times a day. He yells, screams, and throws tantrums that I do not think are normal for a child his age.
He told me yesterday that he wishes I would get a gun and shoot myself and die.
Now, before I get ahead of myself, let me say that I am your typical "AP" mom. (Not knocking anyone who isn't, just explaining what I do.) I breastfed him until he weaned at age 3. I wore him constantly, hoping to develop both a strong mother-child bond and a secure, confident kid. I am on board with the theory of gentle discipline (though no discipline works for him). I never let him CIO, I never put him in day care. I chose not to vaccinate at all for fear of the chemicals and byproducts destroying his immune system and neurological development.
I am not the world's greatest mother, but I try. I consciously parent. I try to limit tv and unhealthy foods. I read to him for an hour a day, or try to when he lets me (more on that later). I have, obviously, made mistakes as a parent, but when people see my child and the way he behaves I am sure they assume I am a detached parent that doesn't even try. This is not the case, no matter how it looks.
In addition to the terrible things he says to me, that he hates me and calling me stupid every other sentence, Henry has no impulse control. He is easily distractable. He loves for me to read to him, but over the past couple of months it has gotten to the point that I don't want to even try because he sings or hums loudly where it drowns out the words I am reading, he interrupts to tell me "that is stupid" or argue with me about the facts in the book.
Instead of ending our reading sessions feeling calm and good about our time together, he typically goes to his room to pout about being in trouble and I go outside to try and calm down and clear my head.
We have pretty much stopped leaving the house. Play groups are out, as are parks and play grounds, because Henry does not play well with others. 9 times out of 10 we leave 5 minutes into our visit because he has hurt another child. He isn't violent with me anymore, but his violence toward other kids is shocking. He pulls on their clothes, pushes and shoves and screams right into their faces. He gets angry because they won't do exactly what he tells them to.
So, we stay home, and drive each other crazy. I wait until my husband's day off to go grocery shopping and run errands because he is too big to ride in the cart and he runs laps around the store, running into other people and knocking over displays. I have tried bribing, threatening, yelling, leaving immediately, and nothing sticks with him. He does the exact same thing each time I try it.
I now have a 4 month old daughter as well, and having her has really kicked me into gear to make some radical changes to improve his behavior. I feel like I have to do something drastic now, or it will be too late.
I have spent the past month reading books, searching out other mothers of children with similar behavior issues and googling until my fingers are numb and I finally bit the bullet last night and ordered the Feingold Program. It was $87.50, and it was painful to spend that money, but I have high hopes that it will work for us. I paid the extra $5 for priority shipping, and I am going to be on pins and needles until it arrives.
I am going to give this my all, and follow it to the letter, even though that means no more break. Henry goes and spends a weekend with my parents every so often, so I can get a break and catch up on housework, errands, etc. But, my father made it clear to me over the holiday that he was not on board with any dietary changes I wanted to make and he would not adhere to the program when Henry is there. So, Henry isn't going to be going back for a long time.
My next step, and last resort, is medication, and I really, really do not want to medicate him.
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